The Agony Of Self-Obsession

 

I remember writing a piece last year titled “He Is Anxiety” detailing a very intimate relationship with Anxiety, one comparable to the relationship of a father and an illegitimate child. I also remember writing in my journal, where I express how my life has been completely diluted in quality all because of this one “Weakness” I not only deemed to be unexplainable but also categorized it as a life problem that is worse than depression and a weakness that only I had (in a planet of billions of people).

I won’t name what this weakness was but I realise that as the human species were prone to expressing selfish concern, and we often struggle with individualising issues that are widely collective. It was only in a moment of silence where I thought to myself “Sihle you honestly thought that what you were going through was worse than a clinically diagnosed mental illness?”

How deep does my selfish nature run? I asked myself. Is it entrenched in the roots of the human race? And if so, how deep is it entrenched?

 A life of selfishness causes pain.

 Any pain that exists outside our bubble becomes unintelligible or even worse unremarkable. We are in the centre of our attention. We are the sun. Radiating all that we are in all directions, so involved with ourselves that we don’t recognise the other individual lives going on around us.

I doubt the sun knows that it’s constantly being orbited by other planets. It burns so brightly for itself that it cannot see the existence of other the planets around it. The sun is a ball of flaming fumes oblivious to the existence of others.

To truly be happy

One must see themselves for what they are. One must understand that they do not remain stationary while the rest of the world orbits around them but rather it’s an intricate act, with no centre point but lives orbiting around each other.

Think of yourself less. Radiate less. Take in more. Learn more.